Virtual Vaca

I’ve been thinking about taking a virtual vacation, specifically from Facebook, or limiting myself to just one check in per day, and prepared to share my intentions on Facebook to keep me accountable (Oh, the irony). 

Don’t get me wrong, as a Minnesotan in the crux of cold-weather, and single-mom-isolation, I do so enjoy seeing your smiling faces, baby mishaps and milestones, home improvement project updates, borderline and outright offensive belly-laugh-inducing-memes, and even the political stuff is good. You all are A+, no doubt! However, I find that I am spending far more time sifting through my Facebook news feed than I should be. It has become compulsive. Bottom line, I need time to hear my own internal voice. I need to fill the blank spaces over the course of my day with my inner thoughts, wild ideas, lofty imagination, future plans & daydreams. 

That said, I also need to stay connected, in a real way, so instead I’m asking you to PLEASE pick up your 500 pound phone and call me, or shoot me a quick text if that’s your jam. Let’s share genuine, human-to-human conversation or make plans for real-time interaction in the form of, say, a spontaneous, albeit crappy, potluck dinner party, dancing or wall flowering, shenanigans & games, or the like. I’m more than happy to host. <Disclaimer: my home will NOT be perfectly tidy because, well, dirt happens even to me; we should all be living fiercely. My words will be uncut, uncensored, awkward and real. And my children, who always appear Facebook-perfect, will likely be uncooperative, invade your personal space, meddle through your belongings, & say things that make you feel relatively bewildered & probably a little uncomfortable.> All things considered, & not limited to the aforementioned warning, it would be a true pleasure indeed to share time & space with you & yours. Mi casa es su casa. Seriously, I’m guessing you’ve all seen this shit before. We’re not so special that way. Wanna go out and about? Let’s make plans to go to the Science Museum for the Mythical Creatures exhibit or go check out & support local artists & musicians. How about treasure hunting at the thrift store. Let’s layer up and take a winter walk in the woods or down by the river. I love to adventure; don’t forget your sense of humor! We can enjoy a cup of liquid gold or hot tea as we unsuccessfully attempt to complete the Times crosswords together & watch idly as my children rip every single toy from the once neatly organized shelving. And although I love food, because I love to eat & I’m in favor of supporting the local hospitality industry, eating out still isn’t my favorite since I’m not too shabby with a ladle & spatula, I’m picky & since eating out is fricking expensive! I got bills to pay & I hope to retire some day, or vacation sometime this decade. Plus, my children don’t sit still very well, like at all, thus making the whole experience more akin to a circus act rather than a much-needed break & change of pace. So let’s cook together! Let’s trade secrets. Let’s both end up with food on our clothing (I’ll go first. Okay, I’ll arrive like that.). Your place or mine, it’s up to you. Heck, maybe I’ll paint my bathroom walls which have been left primed but unfinished for over 3 years now. Anybody wanna help a sister out, DIY-style? Any volunteers to scrape chipping paint from my basement walls, do a little DryLoc painting, or install drywall, tape & mud my basement walls in exchange for quality cuddles, camaraderie, conversation, cheap wine, Goldfish crackers & string cheese? Or how about a crafty chicas night (crafty menz are welcome, too)? Bring a beverage, simple snack to share & some choice music. Though I’m a beggar here, I do ask you to please not overthink this & make it all complicated! Simple is good! Come as you are. I promise, I won’t be fancy either. The point is to spend quality time together, create lasting memories, relax, enrich our days and lives, share guttural laughs & perhaps a few tears, comfort, support & love each other deeply. My goal is a week, to start, maybe two after that since, apparently, I have high hopes.

P.S. For more on authentic human connections, check out, Laura Miller, Talking In Circles

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